So.
The world laughs at my pain and comes full circle to deliver bad thing #3: computer issues.
I laugh back and decide to bite the bullet and install a linux-based OS--Kubuntu. Why that over Ubuntu? Gut feeling. And it looked prettier.
Trent's taken well to it thus far. I still have to convert all my files and customize the interface how I want it. Probably with pretty pictures of warm things to get me through the cold month or so to go.
However, the world (read: magti and consumerism) laughs back at me for trying to have free love, a free spirit, and a free OS. Magti's modem's drivers don't work with linux-based OSes. Boo.
And I'm still trying to figure this one out. If anyone has any clue how to make it work, throw me a lifeline! kplzthxbai.